marriage

Moving Along

January 21, 2011

The one-year anniversary of my divorce has come and gone, and I almost didn’t notice. That’s a good thing, the almost not noticing. It means that I have traveled a good, long distance from then and am more actually living now. It means that although I would still describe my heart as broken, broken-hearted is [...]

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Fading with Time

October 28, 2010

It has been more than a year since the demise of my marriage; I am baffled by the strong feelings that remain with me still, after so much time has passed. I still carry a deep sadness, and I wear a thick mantle to shelter my heart. It’s true that with the passage of time [...]

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Something I haven’t saved.

July 6, 2010

In this month’s theme of “saved” and on the eve of the three-year anniversary of my wedding, I am contemplating that thing I was unable to save—my marriage. Tomorrow is July 7, 2010. I was married on 07-07-07—ostensibly a favorably auspicious date—to a man with whom I believed my life was destined to be entwined. [...]

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looking back to move forward

February 25, 2010

I am ready for this pain to leave. I want to stop hating. I want to return to writing here about beauty. But the hurt continues. I sit and look out the window at the glorious pink of the blooming cherry trees, and tears stream down my face–I am sad and angry and confused. And [...]

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School is still in session

February 20, 2010

This morning I am thinking that so long as I still feel this depth of pain at the demise of my marriage, and so long as I continue to hate on my (ex) husband, there is probably a whole lot left for me to learn from my marriage and its failure.

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the end.

January 21, 2010

The divorce was finalized just about 48 hours ago, and the grief is rolling in. I do not know really, why the marriage ended. The man who was my husband (I am not prepared to use the prefix, “ex”) might be flabbergasted to hear me say that–that I don’t know really why he had to [...]

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keeping accounts

January 7, 2010

In June, 2008, I “retired”, upon my husband’s prompting. This retirement was a culmination of his (and my) desire to spend more time together and do more things together–combined with his assertions since the initial days of our commitment, when he said he would and could provide all the money the two of us needed. [...]

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what would tiger do (differently)?

December 29, 2009

I have certainly sung the woe-is-me tune, wondering how my husband could be off seeking other women so soon after leaving me, and how could he be reunited within weeks with his former sweetheart. More and more I attribute poor communication as a big factor in the “sudden” demise of my marriage. I am not [...]

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what’s trust got to do with it?

November 20, 2009

Two days ago I learned that within just three weeks of dumping me, my husband was back in the arms of a former lover, a woman with whom he had been serious not long before he and I met. I had known of her and had learned that they had reconnected, but I did not [...]

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the rare flying cataclysm

October 18, 2009

I have been struggling with what to write. I find myself in this space where I just do not understand how I got here, and mostly all I can fathom is to blame myself–for not paying attention or something. I find myself adrift. I find myself without a dream to follow. I find myself with [...]

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