relationships

Imagine There Had Been a Different Ending

April 2, 2010

At lunch yesterday my dear friend, Elizabeth, kicked me. She picked up my boulders and shined light on the crawly things beneath them. She held my hand kindly, and used it to slap my face. I treasure a good examination. I am grateful for friends who will say their piece, even if it makes me [...]

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How Does a Garden Grow?

March 31, 2010

Last summer I opened my heart to the garden. I had finally convinced my husband that the sooner plants go into the ground, the sooner they prosper–and he went to work removing a sidewalk and a giant concrete patio from the property–concrete that was covering up areas where we planned to plant a slew of [...]

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Yep. I’m not.

March 22, 2010

Yes, I am not dating. I know. It’s a little presumptuous that I think you care or are curious. But I thought perhaps if I just wrote it all up and displayed it here publicly, I could quit trying to explain. It’s hard to explain. But with one thing and another (let’s just say some [...]

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Fanning majestic flames

March 22, 2010

I had begun to miss the spontaneous dinner parties of my friend, Tiberio. Tiberio makes magic food–his secret ingredients are passion and love. His dinner party guests are from the jumble of his collection of friends and acquaintances–always an eclectic array of other passionate and loving people. But Tiberio has been busy traveling, and seeking [...]

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still drowning

March 17, 2010

I could fill a bathtub with my tears. I am not proud of this, and I do not understand why the tears are still flowing. It has been more than six months since the split. The divorce is legally final. I have no husband; I now have an “ex”. I should be beyond this pain. [...]

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looking back to move forward

February 25, 2010

I am ready for this pain to leave. I want to stop hating. I want to return to writing here about beauty. But the hurt continues. I sit and look out the window at the glorious pink of the blooming cherry trees, and tears stream down my face–I am sad and angry and confused. And [...]

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soundtrack of a soul

February 23, 2010

Something beautiful which my new friend, Kymberlee della Luce built. the soundtrack of my soul View more presentations from Kymberlee della Luce.

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School is still in session

February 20, 2010

This morning I am thinking that so long as I still feel this depth of pain at the demise of my marriage, and so long as I continue to hate on my (ex) husband, there is probably a whole lot left for me to learn from my marriage and its failure.

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You didn’t not get a valentine from me.

February 14, 2010

You did not not get a valentine from me this year. No one got a valentine from me this year. It wasn’t just you. I know. I know. I ALWAYS send valentines. But this year I did not. And I am probably more saddened by that than you are. Not to keep the focus on [...]

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February 10, 1960

February 10, 2010

My (ex) husband was born February 10, 1960, which means that today he is 50 years old. I am having very mixed feelings about this day. On the one hand, I find myself all mean about it, gloating in the fact that I am not hosting a small dinner party to mark the occasion. The [...]

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