Dreams Move On

July 17, 2019

Photo of a vintage aluminum Streamline brand trailer

This is the trailer that started it all, that launched the collection and the dream.

I have five vintage trailers now, two long ones and two short ones and one that’s somewhere in between. And I have had a dream of building a little trailer village, a space for eclecticism and retreat.

But. It took seven years to get around to using this old Streamline as an art studio, and the medium-sized trailer I’m using as a temporary home. However, the other three old trailers languish, not from lack of love, but from lack of all the things required to restore an old thing. Honestly, these days, the most crippling lack is *verve*.

I am tired. I’m old, I have many unfinished projects and fading dreams. I admit that one person can do only so much. And as I watch my friends and family members take ill and even die, that eternal struggle of how to use the moments most wisely becomes my ongoing quest.

“If I get hit by a bus tomorrow, how do I want this day to have been?”

And so you see, my collection of aluminum on wheels becomes a weight. And I am sad.

I still feel a responsibility for this beautiful land that I’ve inherited*, I’d love if I could share it with others. And these five old metal boxes I have have sooooo much potential.

I have a few ideas about how to revise my dream, but when I truthfully assess the circumstances, I don’t have the verve to make even the new version of my dream come true. That being said, I’m kicking and screaming about having to let go.

What dreams have you let go?

How did you do it?

How did you adjust?

 

*I am cognizant that in the bigger scheme of things I have no particular right at all to “own” this 31 acres that is some of the land my parents purchased 50 years ago. I know that this land was apportioned to a man named Emanuel Parker, through the Homestead Act, but what that really means is some men with survey chains and notebooks came through and laid claims for the U.S. Government by virtue of drawing maps. I don’t feel good about this history, and I’m striving to find a feasible way to do what’s right under my circumstances. That’s actually some of the underpinnings of my dreams of building a little village.

Leave a Comment