Let’s See the Life

November 4, 2012

I cannot continue like this, in this limbo, this purgatory. It has been three years, and while my hell has abated, my wounds have not healed sufficiently that I am moving on with life.

Three years ago, my marriage was clearly kaput, and I was deeply immersed in dealing with all that comes with the end of a major life relationship. My wailing was classic, my grief more than I’d ever known, my disorientation debilitating.

As I staggered through the days looking for relief, I, of course, thought that imagining a “new life” would help me move on, help the healing. But I was mired in pain, self-pity, anger, and generally, a feeling of failure. Oh, also, heartbreak. And an image of a New Life, never came. A plan for a New Life, never formed.

With one thing and another—which is what life is, right, one thing and another—I have come three years down the road to a place that feels random and not-quite-right. And I’ve come to believe that I need to step up and consciously create a New Life.

In that crazy period three years ago it was helpful to talk publicly about my tribulations. I’m thinking that it might be helpful now to talk publicly about my confusion and dreams. Let’s make a plan.

Image: Break Through  by Pierre Marcel and used with Creative Commons license.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

John Hays November 4, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Talk to us. Your other friends and I are listening.

Pam November 5, 2012 at 2:01 am

When a picker finds something either in a far corner of a store or in a house long forgotten. And we pick it up and think yes I have found a real treasure! If you’re good at what you do! And I have to say we’re good! But not everything we score is or ever was a real treasure and sometimes the piece is just too far gone to repair. It is very painful for the kind of artist we are to see such a broken piece and finally realize it’s beyond repair. Then we’re having to go into the mode of appreciating what it was and then putting on our big girl or boy panties and saying what can I do with the parts I have left. You can either be so stuck the 16 hundreds chair sits in parts for over 50 years. Or you can put your thinking cap on and make one fantastic piece of furniture that will blow people’s minds by how original the work is and how fresh and special the piece. My vote take that chair and make it great again.

stuart November 7, 2012 at 7:22 am

It is indeed easy to drift into a situation that is ultimately unrewarding, but recognizing that you’ve come to this spot is a big first step to fixing it.

Once you’ve taken that first step, it’s up to you to continue putting the next foot forward. Of course, without a more concrete path, you run the risk of another drift state. So then, what does the New Life look like for you? What’s calling to you? Asking – and answering – these questions helps you to start visualizing your new path. You’ve taken the first step, now if you can see a few steps down the path, you can take the next, and then the next. Don’t stop questioning, don’t stop answering.

Leave a Comment