still drowning

March 17, 2010

2326449590_c4b3167b79I could fill a bathtub with my tears.

I am not proud of this, and I do not understand why the tears are still flowing.

It has been more than six months since the split. The divorce is legally final. I have no husband; I now have an “ex”. I should be beyond this pain. I should be past the random yet frequent onslaughts of debilitating despair.

I do not understand why I continue to hurt so much. And the way the despair arrives–unprovoked and powerfully–I am confused and frightened.

When will I return to my ordinary world. Seeing beauty in vast quantities all around me?

Photo: Bathtubs, Holmfirth by Rick Harrison and used with Creative Commons license

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