On July 7, 2007 I married Perry Emge. This was my second marriage (his second, as well) and I was taking the whole thing pretty damn seriously. I’m not real big on fairy tales–the whole no-effort Happily Ever After thing–but I truly was signing on for the rest of my life and looked forward to that, whatever rocky roads we might find ahead.
I think the vows that we took (in full, below) are quite beautiful, and I remain grateful to our priest, Robby Pellet, for his love and commitment to us and the world when we took our vows.
In light of my own intense view of the seriousness of marriage, it has been very hard on me to accept my husband’s pronouncement that the marriage is over. Obviously we should have spent a lot more time comparing notes about what marriage means.
So, today I apologize to all our loved ones who witnessed our vows and blessed us with your presence on our wedding day. As much as I want them to, it doesn’t look like the vows are going to hold.
——
Welcome family, friends.
We come here tonight in the presence of Wisdom Truth and Harmony to
Witness the vows of marriage between Leila Anasazi and Perry Emge
By this witnessing we will fulfill our friendship, express our gratitude, and
Provide the support for Perry and Leila to maintain these
Vows across time and space
It is through our sincere presence that we create the magic of this ceremony,
Understanding that nothing happens without cause and that this union
Of these two individuals is the working of all creation throughout time
And space
Tonight is the 7th of the 7th month when across the great river of the Milky
Way the two great Lovers of old, the Weaver and the Shepard, come together for a single night to share their eternal love. We are here tonight to celebrate the coming together of these two great lovers, Leila and Perry, in their eternal love to mark their intent to weave their lives together.
Tonight two become one and from this one comes the abundant life of all humanity.
Invocation of the Buddhas and Ancestors
Homage to the seven Buddhas before Buddha
Homage to our original teacher Shakyamuni Buddha
Homage to the future Maitreya Buddha
Homage to the great wisdom Manjusri Bodhisattva
Homage to the great compassionate Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva
Homage to all the Ancestors from Maha Kasapa to my compassionate teacher Gyugaku Hoitsu
Homage to Dear Grandmother Cedar
May your presence call forth Wisdom Truth and Harmony and benefit this wedding
We will speak of Wisdom — the stepping stone to a larger sense of time and space inside and out
We will speak of Truth — the essence of the soul, a means to overcome fear, love
We will speak of Harmony — a synchronicity, a resonance, simply magic, the yumminess of life
Introduction to Vows
As you begin your new life together, let your mutual love and respect, refresh and
Encourage you both to faithfully follow your vows with wisdom and compassion
That your commitment to one another may continue to grow and strengthen for the
Benefit of all creation
Are you ready to say your vows?
[Yes!]
We take refuge in Wisdom
We go there for guidance
We take refuge in Truth
We go there for guidance
We take refuge in Harmony
We go there for guidance
The way of Life is
To do no evil
The way of Life is
To do all good
The way of Life is
To benefit all creation
The way of Life is
To protect Life
The way of Life is
To be generous
The way of Life is
To respect others
The way of Life is
To live the truth
The way of Life is
To honor clarity
Perry and Leila’s intent is to bring to completion the great perfection of this life through sharing their lives together.
Do you, Perry, with an open heart and sincere mind accept Leila as a mirror of your true self and as a Wife in your shared life together?
[I do!]
Do you, Leila, with an open heart and sincere mind accept Perry as a mirror of your true self and as a Husband in your shared life together?
[I do!]
Bless the rings
May these Rings be a constant reminder of your own perfection, the perfection of each other, and the perfection of the vows you have given today to each other and to all creation.
Announcement
By the power vested in me by the ancestors of my tradition, the state of Washington, and by you, I declare you married.
May this marriage give you confidence and may it be a benefit to all creation.
I present you the new married couple.
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
We take refuge in….
The way of life is…..
Thank you. While they are beautiful vows for a marriage, they are also guiding words for engaging life.
I’m living in China, where the only way to understand anything is to read between the lines. The problem being that in China; there are no lines.
It is medicine that will rub raw all the assumptions of a western mind. Thank you for the reminder of engaging life through trust, wisdom and harmony. (especially when none of that is to be found!)