I suppose I have spent more time on our invitations than on anything else for this wedding. I don’t want to count the hours of thought and effort.
My first wedding, I dunno know what I was thinking, the breadth and quantity of people I invited. I was young and socially inept.
Now, I am old, and still somewhat inept. And my venue has its limitations, so I have–for months–been grappling with the disparity between the numbers of people I love, and the number of people the venue will comfortably hold.
We started with listing all the many folks whose company we enjoy and whose blessings we would cherish. Of course, we added certain “obligatory” names to the list; who could believe we hadn’t. But here’s the thing about the Obligations–I don’t feel ambivalent about any of their invitations, those people belong at my wedding.
The total number of names … damn. It was a big number. Much larger than our venue– OR, our introverted natures–would tolerate. So we cut things down to just family, and those dearest of friends (you know, those friends who would donate one of their lungs to you, without question). That number was still huge (uh, over eighty names).
And pretty much I’ve been losing sleep over it ever since.
So, if you thought you would be receiving an invitation in the mail, and you did not–please know that the lack is not because you don’t shine in my eyes. The lack is my lack.
Perry and I decided this weekend, that if three weeks from now, after the wedding, hindsight reveals some “we should-uvs” and we have regrets about things or people we did not include in our wedding, well, we’ll just have another one. Refresh our vows and all, and have another party while we’re at it.